The hunger and anticipation of a new project.

Lately when I'm working on, planning out, or even thinking about new music I get a feeling of hunger and excitement.  Hunger to get back out there and bring it to the world, and excitement at the very thought of it.  It's a feeling I haven't felt in a long time and it's absolutely fantastic.  The feeling of wanting something and the anticipation of getting close to it, maybe even loving it; brings back past feelings.  It's much like a first kiss with someone you've crushed on for a long time, or like the very first time you figure out how to play a song. The anticipation and excitement phase is definitely where I'm at. I want to get that first kiss with this new project; that first song.

I won't be satisfied though, until I can break away from the glow of my LCD monitors and get out there on stage with my new songs and a live band behind me.  I want to let my real voice out this time; no gimmicks, no masks, just the songs for what they are and my awkward voice laid bare for everyone to judge for themselves if this is something they dig.  I want to make songs (and records) that I want to listen to.  I want to sit back and say "I fuckin' dig this shit."  That's the most important thing.  It has to be true to me.  Once I've achieved these things I'll be at that stage where all that longing and pining for that "kiss" will be ratifying.

As I fight my daily routine for the time to work on my projects I must remain diligent.  It's easy to get lazy and procrastinate.  That's where the last 10 years went, and I don't want that anymore.  I need to stay focused if I'm going to make my dreams come true.

Support structure is key.

I've been rallying support in small ways from my wife and now friends.  I'm calling on my wife to hold me accountable and to kick my ass when I try to watch TV when I should be working on music.  I'm starting to reach out to friends, many of whom are musicians to gain support in different ways too.  Most importantly I need to form a band.  One of my potential projects would require a live band, but I need to make a recording first otherwise my intentions of the direction could be skewed.  All of this means I need to get working and writing/recording this record.  It's all up there in my head waiting to get out.  I can hear what it will sound like.  I can predict how the tracks will be laid out.  I can picture the album cover.  I know the "band" name, but I'm not going to divulge that yet.  That's for another time.  Right now I gotta get working.